Therapy Session Harkens....

Dejavu days seem daunting
they seem to hit you when you least expect it
yet the force feels like you got rammed by a 2kg Kettlebell on the head
with a bloody tear and a painful yelp,
much like the war cry on drama "man flicks"

However, being stuck in Dejavu land
seems to be a whole new ballgame altogether
to be exact, for 3 weeks now.

Days seem to consist of mainly and namely Mookata indulgences
day consists of playing dead and no cross sharing,
a lot of mopping and side talking to at least keep creativity alive!

Then it just hits me
What the Heck Am I Doing? 
My soulman asked
A barely audible 'I dunno..." escaped from my lips
And so the painful process of fighting with my soulman embarks
DEJAVU 

So I brought forth date night
instead, date night spurn into a life of its own
he became my shrink,
my therapy session, my verbal dumping ground,
and much to my delight,
my date provided relief, some humour and the right dash of everything,
as if the stars had a conspiracy theory, unheard of,
they aligned and he sought to really listen
and then drew conclusions, recap the main points
and rendered a huge assistance in making me see the big picture
I COULD NOT LOVE HIM ANY MORE, BUT I DID.

Some place in my heart had more room to grow deeper in love with him,
shocking, surprising but oh so true! 
he is now my wise sage, my yoda, my official BFF, my muse,
it is wonderful to really have his full attention
and a side note, to see him kicking a fuss and 
sort of forbiding me from mingling with too many male company.....
it took quite a while to get to this stage,
but a once-in-a-blue moon fit, is welcomed.

>> Bemused with my muse!

Just shows the other side of love.
The greener version. Haha! 
At least him getting riled up is a good sign that he bothers. 
And that my weight loss is not unnoticed. 

Till something conclusive is drawn,
therapy sessions sound fun! Date nights might be passe for now! Ha. 
We shall see. 


XoXo
R

A Marriage.... Ours

My man skyped me a month back, 

asking me if I am interested to go for a marriage seminar, 

just to keep up with how to communicate better and perhaps, 

in the course, find out if there are new methods / ideas 

to work through issues that we may have OR 

if we develop some strange undercurrent 

that may require delicate handling... haha. 

I agreed. I am all for lifelong learning. 

One has to keep the brain like a sponge

always willing to absorb, learn, be open,

explore and this will push your envelope,

challenge one to be better at your craft. 

So we went for: 

This was co-organised by Mediacorp and the "garment" 

I had two takeaways from the entire getup.... 

(A) Speak life into your partner, ALWAYS

it ain't a choice, it helps, spare 3 solid minutes a day to be grateful 

and positive about your spouse's pros / strengths / talents / beauty

(B) Set aside one night in a week for "Date Night" 

without the kids, the outlaws and in-laws and friends.... 

just gaze into each other's eyes and drown there please.... 

NOOTT... that will barely last for 3 secs before one of you burst out laughing

but date nights are meant to revive "Fun" and possibly do stuff

that you did when you dated / paktor-ed 

And there was this one exercise where we looked at each other
and show your partner if there was any stuff that transpired 
in the past (the past only starts from Day 1 of your marriage, 
DOES NOT INCLUDE PAKTOR Days...)
and using your eyes only, tell your partner if you have been hurt
by what he / she said coz he / she was a klutz and had limited vocab
so in the course of communication, was too blunt in their selection of words

I practically won the Oscars! 
Tears welled up at the corner of my eyes
with my poor doe-eyes filling up with tears fast and yet 
not shedding a single drop,
My muscle man, was fast turning into a mash of pudding 
and I always declare he is cool as a cucumber,
aka Mr Poker Face... he could only express helplessness for a brief moment
before displaying the look of "I am sorry I hurt you" 
without even knowing what I was thinking
(we were not allowed to communicate during this exercise except with our eyes)

When this exercise came to an end, 
we hugged, like a big huge bear hug
and he asked, so what did I do? 
I was like, we addressed it already,
but that was the only sad part of this marriage thus far,
so I had to go back to that place so that I can express sadness,
coz 98% of the time, I AM V HAPPY!
He makes me happy, confident, secured and perhaps, gives me steel wings to fly too!
1.5% of the time, I am irritated with his quirks and lazy habits at home
which at times, i feel like murdering him... oh well, 
the last 0.5% of the time, I am truly upset / sad with him. 

He has always been my go-to person to share everything with
since we were merely friends
he ALWAYS tries to and does solve my problems
but he is adapting, he now quips, if i merely need a ventilation outlet / listening ear
OR Mr Fix It? 
Smart aleck me, came up with Option 4 - I need Mr Hug Me Now and just tell me all will be alright... 
I sometimes throw all caution and doubts to the wind and live with full abandonment 
IN THE MOMENT! I need THOSE MOMENTS to keep me sane! 
No matter how fleeting. 
Coz the world out there, sometimes, 
is a big bad world. 
I need my anchor, my harbour. 
God provided me my muscle man,
as a tangible expression of HIS LOVE for me. 

And I will always remain, grateful. 
For Him, for my man, for those moments! 

Xoxo. 

While Away

When Art Goes Onto a Flawless Canvas

it becomes Perfection!

Inspired by My Muse. 

Dita Von Teese

Fancy a Flight of Flancy?

So much has happened since my last post
I have been so swamped that i decided this blog needs to take a backseat
LIKE BIG TIME! 

Marriage:
I still enjoy being married to him
I have known him since 2000,
started dating him in 2003
married him in 2009. 
The really awesome and mind blowing bit is
I AM STILL NOT SICK of him
he still manages to amaze and impress me
even after all these years
I still love to embark on life's adventures with him
travel the world as wanderlust strikes us, whenever,
still adjusting to his wicked sense of "encouraging" me
and still believing in his dreams, 
his capabilities and wanting to provide the wind beneath his wings to take flight. 
Yup, I fancy a wondrous flight of fantasy 
He makes me feel like I can be whoever I want to be
Security and the freedom to focus on whatever we wish to do are just 
starters on this huge plate of offerings that we are cooking

Friendships:
I have been so blessed. 
Been in touch with more people
Reconciled with more
Soaring with some of them
Made new ones whom I know are for keeps, this lifetime and hopefully the next
BFFs who stand by me
believe in me
cry with me
laugh with me
bitch with me
dance with me
sing with me
dine with me
I am just so grateful

Family:
The folks are challenging at times
otherwise alright
mum-sy isn't feeling too good
going for a heart check soon
dad had an incident and is better
we had a scare that morning! 
The family trip was scary 
made me miss my man more
realized that I got to make a permanent mindset shift... 
i.e. my folks are here to teach me patience - whether I like it or not. 
Oh well... 
The mum-sy-in-law has been fantastic,
things are great between us, what is even better is how much closer I have gotten
with her and my grandmother-in-law... she dotes on me and spoils me silly. 
I am truly blessed. 

Work:
This 2014, is a year of change, of greatness, of HIS GLORY
I can smell it in the air! 
Am working towards it. 
Am praying for the stars to align. 
While setting the foundation. 
My man is asking me for a biz plan
I love how he keeps me grounded thou I hate this part
of pulling a proposal together
My man needs to rule the world 
while I keep the house clean, neat and head out to work out my bod 
and enjoy shopping and do PR and Marketing consultancy work. Ideal!!! 
(Hahahaha.... a girl can dream... can't she???) 

I thank God for everything. Every single person. 
At this point of my life, I can tell the rotten apples from the good ones
the ones with an agenda and the ones I can count on,
I may appear all innocent and blur and whatever else I want you to believe
but trust me, still waters..... run really really deep. 
Not in a bad way, but
in a smart way. 
I strive to be, the greatest team player I ever can be!
As they say "THE BEST IS YET TO COME!" 
Carpe Diem!!!!!!! Always! 

My Health & Weight Loss:
My determination, focus and discipline levels have reached a new high
I cannot fathom if you asked me 2 years back,
Can you go exercise and lose weight? 
I would go and try for a month, tops!
and revert to the sluggish lifestyle once more
But now, after embarking on this for 15 months,
I lost a total of 20kg to-date, I am lighter than my man
as any good wife should (be lighter than her man)
except if you are pregnant then it doesn't count. 
I have another 15kg to lose, making it a total of 35kg
my BFF says I got more room, the hubs is happy to see me drop me
in a stable and healthy fashion.

XoxoxO,
R

Love my Nest, Love my Man

Super in love today.... 
started the day with a prayer
nothing fancy, simple one
my man sent me an encouraging short read
got me fruits for breakfast
and then I decided to make an effort to change
look at things differently

And came back to a lovely meal
Spicy n Sour Glass Noodles.... 
totally right up my alley today
I love how a documentary was featuring Taiwan,
one of my favourite countries in the world
I could move there in a heartbeat. 

Today is filled with more love than all the last 3 days!

Almost always

Unsure why a certain female is almost always
predictably so, unhelpful and trying to do 'Taiji' moves here 
and there, most days and most times. 
And blue murder, she gets away with, tell me again, why? 
sometimes, i almost wanna succumb to the Chinese saying of, 
"salted veggie life" but I know our God is bigger and better than this,
so yeah, I am so gonna pray, me shutting up and playing nice,
does not in anyway mean I am a "sick cat"
but rather, I am putting patience into action
if I erupt, I also don't like me, hahahahaa.... Roarrrr.... 

Anyways, this post ain't about her,
I just had to lament...... and rant. 
This post is about me, being proud of 
actually, deleting Mr. Mont Blanc's number away for good
if he doesn't contact me, 
which I am certain he has no good reason to anyways,
then really, the chapter has closed, like has had closure
after a decade, yeah.... me being the sentimental fool
believing that a life lived, should have a real love story 

one that is passionate and blazing and sets the bar
one that is long to be remembered (good or bad)
and one that has a dashing fella in the picture
hahahahaha..... silly me, young and naive and rather dumb, really! 
Anyways, the only fantastic thing out of that love lesson,
is, I really end up appreciating my current more
and know that men should really be treating their women right
and we, women, should not shortchange ourselves 
out of a decent relationship, seriously. 

Idealistic love...... is unfathomable on most days
all that jazz made up of heros and 
a gentleman and handing us their credit cards,
though good, but ain't essential, the crux,
is still his heart and how he shows his love,
and at the end of it all, it really is the small things
and little actions that touch our hearts and show us
how much we are valued and accepted for. Ain't it? 

Still love being married to him..... 
Ironically, today I was asked if I felt the 7-year itch,
no.... really, if I wanted to, I would have years back, 
before we even got married.... 
this 12 year marathon of a relationship, 
that blossomed from just friends to BGR to 
I still cannot believe I am married to him
has been an adventure, still not sick of him and that's awesome!

 

The Coming Holidays & My Muse

These 2 weeks has been amazing,
shocking in some ways, like today (more later)
and surprising in others.

The hubs has been nothing short of dramatic
which is super unusual
coz the 'drama queen' is usually me.
I have been upstaged.
And haha, the feeling is odd.
I cannot fathom what has happened to him
but in some secret way,
I am enjoying it....
Its like we have another way of connecting,
he and i...

He got so pumped up when I agreed to go on a hike
with him and Kita today... he was actually grinning, glowing
and acted every bit like a proud trooper.
Ok, so me being the one that is Not-so-into-Mother Nature type
did get squeamish at the very last min,
my heart was palpitating like crazy
and I was on the verge of just giving him the excuse
that my tummy was aching like there was no tomorrow
but, I decided to suck it up!

So off we went, my hubs being my hubs,
despite having all the technology in the world to serve him,
he relished in the likes of deciding that Diary Farm Hut had parking,
so we shall begin our acension from there....
BIG MISTAKE!!! HUGE!!!!
I never climbed so many steep steps / stairs,
walked on so many slippery terrains in my Life!
We should have just started from the usual Bukit Timah Hill path
wah lau eh.... act smart lor.
At some points, I had thoughts of rolling down the hill
and at some other points, I secretly hoped we don't come across
some dead body, the place is so akin to CRIMINAL MINDS / CSI...
I cannot help it, been watching a lot of TV. LIKE.A.LOT

And for the life of me,
I felt like I was in JAPAN HOUR
walking thru the forest or in army,
marching away with my hubs ahead cheering both Kita and myself on,
and Kita, sweet Kita, God bless his soul,
was so gentlemanly, he waited behind,
made sure I was ok,
basically he did everything in the handbook right... haha
if there ever was a handbook on how to woo a girl,
this Japanese dude sure got it all right
At some point, I even ran up the steep terrains.
I think I went mad. Haiz...

I feel fitter, no doubt.
The air smelt great in there...
but emotionally, I think I was a wuss.
I was swamped with mixed feelings upon concluding my hike.
On one hand, proud about my accomplishment
and on the other hand, I wished I had better stamina,
I want to try this again,
but I wanna train.

So, instead of the usual routine runs,
I shall also go hike once in a while,
just to change up the routine I have.
And to ensure I get better and hahaha, lose MORE weight lar!!!
I am so tired now...
cannot fathom how I can hold a decent conversation at dinner with my family
or even seem energetic, for fear of letting my mum feel less important.

Anyways, work wise, things have been a whirlwind.
Some words to sum up how I feel...
Mountain / Insanity / Pile / Deadlines
I mean, I have seen this level of stress before,
just that, haha, I wished I had a "honeymoon" period
you know, before the torrential hurricane sweeps you up
and carries you to somewhere else....
there is no stopping, before I can plan,
I have to do, sometimes, i feel robotic.
Almost surreal.

I keep telling myself,
my social life is saved for the weekends mostly, for now.
But when the weekends hit,
all I wanna do is sleep. Like a bear in winter.
Or just run and dance, workout.

I dont even have the mood / energy to play my FB games.
I know, i know, lame right? At my age, FB games...
aiya, judge all you want, I don't care.
The games take my mind off a lot...

And my Fridays, supposedly date nights with the hubs,
see me wanting to head home to sleep....
anyways, I really really appreciate my muse, my hubs
for being the ultra sweet candy he is...
for sending me flowers when he knows it brightens my day,
pink roses always puts a permanent smile on my face..
and for being the sweetest fellow I know.
No one treats me better than you baby.
I want us to remain like this, forever.

And, I seriously hope, I got my Christmas pressies all covered.
Hope everyone is covered and I did not miss out any persons.
I got the list written, but no time to go shop as yet.

And on a side note, both Kita and Jean just came back from Korea
and they both got me all my favourite items,
without me telling them what they are!
They are such dolls!!!!!! Love them to bits....
Love my close friends who can read me and love me.

Breaking Dawn was dishy...
I mean, the way Edward Cullen loves Bella
and the smouldering HOT Jacob....
Hubba Hubba.... hahahaha
the fight scene was AWESOME!
So was the "other" scene. Teehehehe~~
Darren was a real friend, he had my back
I am just so blessed.
To have such great friends around me,
I don't know what i did to deserve them
but they are so willing to be there for me.
I can only Thank God for them.

Anyways, this trooper has to go niapp now.
Goodnight World!

Xoxo

The One with Contentment & then some....

You know how tough it is to find someone who has chemistry with you
and somehow, seems normal to you,
and then realizing how they make your world a better place
and how you can act all foolish and silly in front of them
and how they try to make you a better person in more ways than one
and then, you sometimes hate their guts and balls
on days, even feel like murdering them if it is legit to.

That's Love for you, in the very real sense.
Where we try to soothe out all insecurities in any given relationship
where we try not to kill each other on certain days
and where we love each other and hold on fast to the other half,
as much and often and as deeply as we can,
as we recall their kindness and tenderness to us.

I am so glad to be in a contended place
and in a position where I understand my husband better
and where I know he loves me and mostly accepts me for who I am
without trying to change me too much,
though i honestly need to say,
he does get into the mode of being my dad / mum / PE Teacher / maid / Ahmad
from time to time....
but I love him to dear bits.....
There is nothing more, at the end of a work day
where I am all fazed or confused or emo or angry
that I would like to really see, (most days)
and then I would talk to him and go on with a barrage of stuff
whether related or not, whether nice sounding or not,
on who did me wrong
or who is acting like some dumbass at work
or who and who is dating,
we sort of enjoy the banter and then will reach some conclusion, as a couple,
sometimes swearing we should never get ourselves into that fix
and thank God for each other (most times).

The past 3 years of marriage has been interesting.
It is a roller coaster, there are minor adjustments between us now and then
but we are at a stable point now, a point which begets a lot of people asking us,
"When are you having kids?"

Let's put it this way...
as selfish as it sounds,
both of us love children, don't get us wrong,
but they are not for us, not now and probably not ever.
There is nothing wrong with our "machines"
as the health check has put across before we got married.
But, we just love love Looovveeee the freedom and power
to go anywhere we wish, without the concern
or nagging thoughts as to,
Who is gonna look after the kiddo? Or I will miss the kiddo...

Look, there are some couples who marry and do enjoy couplehood as it is,
and some who really buy into the notion that getting married is to have babies
well, to each his own, really.
We shall always stick to the same reply everytime,
WE ARE NOT READY and do not want to be tied down.  

As it is, marriages in Singapore are diving into a downhill mode
with divorces on the rise constantly,
kids added to that equation will make it more challenging for any couple.
That is why, I really enjoy my partner and the activities and the people we meet
whenever we want to and can now.

Just a reflection.....

Let's Count The Ways of ....

Well, I did say this blog was defunk in 2009.... but after shifting thru a few different blogs (mostly personal) I decided to re-use what works. This addy.

What better way then to start by summing what took place over the last 3 years.

I got married. got happy. put on some weight. got sick. feel more at peace with myself. lost a good friend. got to know more new friends. got judged. loved some and hated others and then some.

am now at a place where I am contend. or maybe its too early to be so?

But I am.

Lost some weight, intend to carry on and got back into an industry I enjoy.

Life really threw some serious lemons. But I am making good lemonade out of them. :)

BKK wait for me, I am finally hitting on you. And then back to Taiwan next year, a land where I can fall in love, daily. Did I mention how much i love Taiwan?

Just the mere mention of the place brings to mind, rainbows, unicorns, smelly tofu, strawberries, friendly people and the posers!!! Not necessarily in that order.

 

The extravaganza shopping and pigging out! The cool weather of March and the doe-eyed lasses. So far, I love Taiwan more than the other places I have been to, it calls to my soul. My happy place.

 

To start saving I must!!! Else, how am I suppose to buy all the pleasures that tickle my fancy bone???

 

Till then, tata!

 

 

 

 

Last entry

Hi Guys, Thanks a lot for following my blog for around 2 years or more.... but since I started blogging and haven't stopped (not to worry) I am moving on to another sphere and another address. Will inform those I need to inform... its time to move on esp since I am moving on in life too! Thank God for His everlasting grace and providence! With such good friends to boot! This post is my last here. I enjoyed ranting, raving, loving and writing, its part of my life and in my blood. I cannot wait to meet most of you at my new blog!!! See U....

Sunday Times.... That's us... Oh Yesh... I love him

SA Tours is on BBC News - how cool & THANK GOD!!

I just wanna give thanks unto our Father in Heaven here

Its a first for me.... and I am excitied.

SA Tours is on BBC News on cable TV last week

My first attempt at Prawn Noodles Photos!!!

The Spice I used.... to add flavour

Soup Bags below

My first attempt at prawn noodle soup...

which totally ROCKS

for it turned out great without salt, soy sauce,

sugar or MSG

(in my future Mother-In-Law's own words

" Very good Ah Ruth!!!")

I started preparing 2 pots of soup

as soups always run out the fastest whenever I cook for Daniel

which is great

I am so not complaining here

and cooking is therapy for me

makes me happy!

ON WITH THE SOUPS...

boil...boil.... watch fire....

Then comes placing in the

1) Pork Bones

2) Prawn Heads (Crashed)

3) Prawns (Peeled and De-veined)

4) Chinese Herbs

5) Spices

6) Soup Bag

7) Kangkong to bleech before serving

THEN LET IT BOIL AWAY......

Prepare the Bee Hoon.

Place into the various bowls for different people

Wash Chinese Parsley

(magg's fave if I remb correctly - cheers!)

BELOW is close-up view of

Bee Hoon with Parsley

Check on the soup every once in a while...

And when my man came back from work....

I served...

all nice and hot....

With Belachan

Once again, Prawn Noodle Soup:

1) Buy some Glass Prawns (600g)

for Sweeter Soup bases naturally

2) Then get additional Big Tiger Prawns (8pcs)

for extra Oomph and QQ taste when eating

3) Buy Soup Bags (12x10cm types) will do

for you to place the herbs & crashed prawn heads

into so the soup won't be murky and messy

4) Get Chinese Herbs from Chinese Medical Hall (wolfberries, white bark etc)

5) For natural sweetness, add some dried scallops (my fave!!)

6) A Bag of Bee Hoon (Use Half for a family of 4)

7) A Bag of Kangkong (can use all at one cooking)

8) If you like, you may opt to add yellow beans

9) A Bag of Bak Kut Teh Spices

10) Pork Bones / Ribs $4.50 worth will do

BOIL EVERYTHING (best to get a huge pot)

and peel the prawns and all, took 3 hours...

for really really nice soup base, boil longer, 5 hours.

GO EXPERIMENT for someone u love...

well worth the effort and

helps u score points with the MIL...

HAHAHAHAA... lolz....

Lunch actually

I had the most awesome-ness lunch today. At Raffles Hotel by a chef who flew in from france just to cook for us all (I never tot I live to experience this day!!! BUT I DID -PRAISE THE LORD man.... I know I sound kiddy but really, how many people in this lifetime, i mean common folks like us, get a chef flying in specially to cook for you.... wah lau.... SHIOK lar!!) AND ITS FREEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Prawn Soup pics and more on my lunch tomorrow, in pictures. Yummy.....

Cooking Prawn Noodles

I just finished cooking the soup base for Prawn Noodles (my first time) and I love the taste of the soup, it is still simmering now as I type this but come dinner time, it would be just nice - HOPEFULLY DANIEL WILL LOVE IT! PHOTOS TOMORROW..... =))) I mixed pork ribs with crashed prawn heads and semi-shelled prawns into 2 pots (because soups are the first to run out whenever I cook - just ask Daniel!) ITS A LOT OF WORK...... running to the markets, getting the right stuff then de-shell, boil, watch the fire and blah blah blah but certainly it gives me a sense of satisfaction, cos if the soup base passes my taste buds test (I am fussy about my soups - REAL FUSSY) then it is alright to present to the world. HAha...... oh well... still, am cooking it for Daniel, his kid brother, his mum and ta-baoing some for my kid brother. No sugar, no salt and nothing else is added (except my secret ingredient - sniggers) so the soup is naturally sweet and porky-prawny...hahah!

Our Pre-Wedding Photos

Hey!!!

Sneek Peek of our Wedding pics

is on FACEBOOK...

pls go there to view.

Enjoy viewing!

Funnies...... from Church Camp 2009

We had our Annual Church Camp

From 11- 14 June 2009

where I was so blessed with so much to take away!!!

Some funny moments included:

Andy & Daniel trying not get wacked by an unidentified water bottle

Daniel & i The Masked Riders about to Go-Kart!! Pose 1 Pose 2 - looking really weird and funny Pose 3 - trying to act cool and macho!

Pose 4 - getting ready for their cars

Below...

eating koko krunch is sinful...

"Yeah I know man! Stay away from my bowl..."

"PUNKED" below

Dorena, Gracie and me

My godma and i

who can now speak in tongues

Thank God!!!

Andy, Dan, me, Daniel and Darren

YA in full force!!

dan, darren, mei ling, andy, natalie, jialing, jaime, me, daniel and Ed

The regulars of YA!!!

me, jolene and jaime (OSCAR NIGHT)

my funny man and I

(see his dressing!!!)