My man skyped me a month back,
asking me if I am interested to go for a marriage seminar,
just to keep up with how to communicate better and perhaps,
in the course, find out if there are new methods / ideas
to work through issues that we may have OR
if we develop some strange undercurrent
that may require delicate handling... haha.
I agreed. I am all for lifelong learning.
One has to keep the brain like a sponge
always willing to absorb, learn, be open,
explore and this will push your envelope,
challenge one to be better at your craft.
So we went for:
This was co-organised by Mediacorp and the "garment"
I had two takeaways from the entire getup....
(A) Speak life into your partner, ALWAYS
it ain't a choice, it helps, spare 3 solid minutes a day to be grateful
and positive about your spouse's pros / strengths / talents / beauty
(B) Set aside one night in a week for "Date Night"
without the kids, the outlaws and in-laws and friends....
just gaze into each other's eyes and drown there please....
NOOTT... that will barely last for 3 secs before one of you burst out laughing
but date nights are meant to revive "Fun" and possibly do stuff
that you did when you dated / paktor-ed
And there was this one exercise where we looked at each other
and show your partner if there was any stuff that transpired
in the past (the past only starts from Day 1 of your marriage,
DOES NOT INCLUDE PAKTOR Days...)
and using your eyes only, tell your partner if you have been hurt
by what he / she said coz he / she was a klutz and had limited vocab
so in the course of communication, was too blunt in their selection of words
I practically won the Oscars!
Tears welled up at the corner of my eyes
with my poor doe-eyes filling up with tears fast and yet
not shedding a single drop,
My muscle man, was fast turning into a mash of pudding
and I always declare he is cool as a cucumber,
aka Mr Poker Face... he could only express helplessness for a brief moment
before displaying the look of "I am sorry I hurt you"
without even knowing what I was thinking
(we were not allowed to communicate during this exercise except with our eyes)
When this exercise came to an end,
we hugged, like a big huge bear hug
and he asked, so what did I do?
I was like, we addressed it already,
but that was the only sad part of this marriage thus far,
so I had to go back to that place so that I can express sadness,
coz 98% of the time, I AM V HAPPY!
He makes me happy, confident, secured and perhaps, gives me steel wings to fly too!
1.5% of the time, I am irritated with his quirks and lazy habits at home
which at times, i feel like murdering him... oh well,
the last 0.5% of the time, I am truly upset / sad with him.
He has always been my go-to person to share everything with
since we were merely friends
he ALWAYS tries to and does solve my problems
but he is adapting, he now quips, if i merely need a ventilation outlet / listening ear
OR Mr Fix It?
Smart aleck me, came up with Option 4 - I need Mr Hug Me Now and just tell me all will be alright...
I sometimes throw all caution and doubts to the wind and live with full abandonment
IN THE MOMENT! I need THOSE MOMENTS to keep me sane!
No matter how fleeting.
Coz the world out there, sometimes,
is a big bad world.
I need my anchor, my harbour.
God provided me my muscle man,
as a tangible expression of HIS LOVE for me.
And I will always remain, grateful.
For Him, for my man, for those moments!
Xoxo.
