Expelling U from Me.... just like Taking a Dump!

Today was suppose to be a great day. Where I head out for my training, where life goes on as pre-normal and I enjoy it but its hard to make that choice today... I know I am suppose to be all happy posting pics of a great lunch yday and the prawn noodles but guess what, a HUGE unhappy last night ruined a lot for me. I am in no mood whatsoever now. So, the pics will have to come another day. My head is spinning, I am feeling sick inside, I feel like crying on and off and even CSI New York is not appealing to me now. Talking about it ain't enough. Something to THANK GOD for is this; my Bosses are on leave today, leaving me a little freed up to really really be moody. I am trying hard to snap out of it but hey, gimme some time OKAY? I got a huge wound to nurse. U are such a pain in my arse.... its akin to shitting. When you squeeze the shit out with your anal muscles, pushing and hoping it all comes out at one go so you need not run back to the toilet again for another dump! Yeah.... that feeling, so much relief after all toxins are purge out of your system. U truly are a sadist, you are like that piece of shit that refuses to come out at one sitting, you hang around, causing discomfort and pain, leaving me in alarm.... not knowing when I need the toilet next. THAT"S ACTUALLY EXACTLY HOW I FEEL TOWARDS U NOW. Cos a sadist never knows how to be happy for someone when comfort, peace and relief is found. I always.... ALWAYS had to conform to your demeaning demands at times and sickening expectations of near perfection. ITS ALWAYS about you. U and your freaking face, au natural stinking FACE!!! U only offer help when i am sad, driven to a corner or desperate.... seldom do I see you happy anymore, everything I ever do is NOT GOOD ENOUGH! I am a failure on your terms, thru your lens and in your picture perfect world!!! Does hating myself make you happier with me? Does my low self-esteem give you satisfaction? Does the food I order ever pleases you unless its something you are familiar with.... NO..... its always YOUR decisions, YOUR choices, YOUR BUYS, your show, your dressing, YOUR EVERYTHING that is the BEST!!!! I AM JUST UNDERNEATH U....................... well guess what, you are like my shit now, in my head, you are that piece of shit I am waiting to expel. Cos it is CAUSING ME discomfort and pain.