Idle is once in a while, good
I am still awaiting that call
that promotion, please Oh Lord...
My heart is singing,
and my prayers are the same.
Promotion that comes from You.
Let it come true.
Let the next step take root and last.
Let me be fruitful, balance, appreciated by Bosses and happy!
Amen!
You know there is this book known as
THE FIVE LANGUAGES OF LOVE
and this other book known as
MEN ARE FROM MARS & WOMEN, VENUS
well.... the thing is,
I am in a cave now
this season, this period,
yeah, this mode works for me too
and it is safe, unsure why I am in the cave
or how I entered into one
either thru stumbling or chancing upon,
but in any case, I am inside the cave now.
Emotionally, mentally and whatever else there is . . .
I am there. Just not physically.
My being has to be at places
and look chirpy and cheery
sometimes, I laugh at the disdain and foolishness around me
I feel like a spectator watching a movie scene unfold
and I am a bystander, not by choice, just watching
sometimes bemused, other times I just feel let down
and then, I just start missing the (regrettably) old life
where I feel appreciated, beloved and treated right
Right now, I am just "used" and going thru the routine of things
I want to know where on earth did my joy and passion run off to?
The heights of Mount Faber or the ends of East Coast???
Going thru the motion of life and what it throws at me
does not cut it for me, guess I demand a lot outta my life eh?
Hmmm.... yeah, sometimes I do think so.
But is it a bad thing?
Not really, I for one, feel that, with no expectations and greater demand,
you won't grow as a person.
Sure, you will feel frustrated,
you might feel caught in a rut
or even bored at times,
but its precisely, at pushing the envelope
that one grows and refines their game.
I am stuck in that weird placement now
neither here nor there,
still exceeding speed
just want to exceed myself and what I set out for.
So Dear Lord, I know promotions come from You,
Please please PLEASE PROMOTE me.
I sure hope I am ready,
if you deem fit, PROMOTE me,
I need it and I am seeking / asking from You, my dear Father.
Amen!
Woke up dreading today
turns out, people are nice here
generally, today is busy but nice
am meeting up a friend later too
But I am wondering,
what am I doing with my life....
I used to rally around the notion of
"never work a day in my life, as my work is a passion, a hobby..."
but given the speed and pressure and all
I made a fatal error...
unsure if I will ever be forgiven
or already cast and condemned to all eternity to hell
by the docs
the saying is so true,
you can do 10 GREAT things
but just one error is enough to wipe u out
human beings. . . . go figure!!!
I have been exercising so much
coz I got so much to vent
its insane..... I feel so beaten up
and I feel bad, internally, my system is still beating myself up
its perpetually hanged on "self-whacking" mode
