I was schooling and I was tutoring at the same time.
Yeah, the independent streak in me was very prevalent
and I had a strong backbone
I loved what earning my own keeps did for me
and at the age of 18 to 19,
I was going for facials in the heart of Orchard,
buying over the counter cosmetics and skincare (experimental age)
and I joined a gym!
The strange fact was,
my metabolic rate was insanely good
I could get away with doing little yet maintaining a decent figure then
in spite of eating and snacking on my fave sardine puffs in the school canteen
OH HOW I ADORE THE LATE TEENS and ROARING TWENTIES!!! Yikes!
The gym I joined then was California Fitness
which was the newest and largest in LaLa land then
and it was spanking new alright!!!
3 floors of floor to ceiling glass windows
where the sun rays can peek in from all angles
with new state of the art equipment for gym rats
BUT I AM NO GYM RAT
so why on earth did I join one?
I got a confession....
I loved the idea back then of running on the treadmills facing the current cineleisure
and looking good while doing so
basically, I loved the full on idea of being a true blue POSER! Ha.
What's there not to love,
boys will look at you,
your self esteem (and ego) basically shoots up rocket high
sending you to infinity and beyond at times,
personal trainers come up to you and try to pick you up
offering you free tips and classes once in a while
You get free meals, shakes, drinks, gym bags and the likes that comes with that attention
Those were glorious days (hahaha....)
AND THEN... Fast forward a lot,
I met a boy whom I grew to love
married him, cooked a lot, ate a lot and busted my knee during a half marathon
so I stayed away from exercising for 2 years and 35kg later
I COULD NOT FATHOM WHAT ON EARTH HAVE I MORPHED INTO!!!????!!!!
It was an alien invasion!!! Of the highest order too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The image staring back at me in the mirror was.... Gasp! H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E
I mean, even if my true love did not mind (which i like to think he didn't)
this nagging thought was surfacing, though it often is a backburner but
right then, when it hit me, I was like.... "One Day, if the boy you love
decides to go all superficial on you and prefer a skinny monkey over you,
you are so dead... cos you are just not attractive anymore"
Besides this deeply seeded thought that incepted itself somewhere in me
I was also avoiding a lot of my friends, a lot of weddings and basically,
places where humans gather. It was bad.
My self esteemed plummeted big time. And whose fault was it?
As they say, the rest is history, I took control of the situation,
am discipline, determined and exercise like crap, signed onto a gym that fits my personality
and helps me attain my goals... and am consistent in the stuff I do. Including healthier intake.
I lost 20kgs. I have 15kgs to go. I just got to keep on keeping on.
Today, I saw a colleague strolling into office,
hollering my name and when I turned back,
she had a mat with her, stating she signed for yoga classes held within my office grounds
gesturing if I also joined, I told her I cannot stand slow exercises,
though I believe in yoga, the results are too slow for my liking.
She is double my old size, meaning she will take longer to see results esp if she plans on
just using yoga as a form of exercise, but so long as she sticks to it, consistently,
it will work, results will creep in, dresses will fit better and love will find her.
Just that, when we were in the ladies later in the day,
she was like, I am wearing a sports bra, I think my top is bigger today.....
(my eyes rolled a little at this point...haha)
Hope the instructor is good looking,
(eyes kept rolling and I smirked)
I hope to be healthier and lose weight and be like you...
(at this point, i can understand her, coz being overweight can be challenging,
you can be bullied and overlooked in promotions and gatherings and whatever else.)
I am glad to have inspired her to want to work out
but don't be like the old me... who wants to look good going to a work out...
instead be like the current me, where even though I got 15kg more to lose
and am still fluffy in certain areas (yes yes, I call the fats - Fluffy ok... cuter lar)
I am comfortable and more confident under my own skin.
Coz besides good looks and a decent figure,
I got other talents and a great attitude towards life, work and people
and I am no longer a POSER
I just want to be a hot commodity in areas other than outer appearances
besides, my theory goes ---
GOOD LOOKS CAN TAKE YOU ONLY SO FAR, IT GIVES YOU A PASSPORT,
A PUSH THRU THE DOORS OF OPPORTUNITY BUT
HOW YOU STAY ON THERE AND SHINE IN YOUR ROLE,
SOLELY DEPENDS ON YOUR ATTITUDE, SKILLS AND TALENTS.
XoxoXO,
Ruth
